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“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive - demetri martin”
23 May 2012 20:11by Krammark2 (Twitter)
“Waitress said "I'm Sheila if you need anything." Wanted to make a Demetri Martin joke.”
23 May 2012 19:53by PaintTheCosmos (Twitter)
“"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything"-Demetri Martin”
23 May 2012 19:21by Tori_Marie04 (Twitter)
“@iminitech Cots make one restive. Futons. "I like the name FutonWorld. A magical place that gradually gets less comfortable." Demetri Martin”
23 May 2012 18:49by AllStarSchools (Twitter)
“Hiking is just walking where it's okay to pee. - Demetri Martin #quote”
23 May 2012 18:11by BestStuffForMen (Twitter)
“Demetri Martin is definitely my 2nd favorite comedian.”
23 May 2012 17:44by Be_DayLight (Twitter)
“@DonaldGlover Was the "Gambino Say it twice, ATM Machine" line a reference to that Demetri Martin joke?”
23 May 2012 17:23by TheBrilliantJM (Twitter)
“@jaredh66 I was drinking a coca cola when I read that Demetri Martin joke...”
23 May 2012 16:45by lblack111 (Twitter)
“Why didn't somebody tell me this?"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." -Demetri Martin”
23 May 2012 16:33by rhpalfreyman (Twitter)
“this made me a fan of Demetri Martin, watch all parts, "If I" : http://t.co/7R8oE9QU”
23 May 2012 15:56by thejeffbartell (Twitter)
“@ILOVEJESSIE_J http://t.co/IN3RVIXq the bible of palindronism”
23 May 2012 15:39by JessiesDolphin (Twitter)
“Average day. So sick of work! Going to spend the night youtubing Demetri Martin videos :) http://t.co/4KaoX5ni”
23 May 2012 14:21by emgardyy (Twitter)
“WHAT?! Opening act was Demetri Martin?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY couldn't I go?”
23 May 2012 13:31by TheUsedMagician (Twitter)
“@SabreenRZ no idea really. maybe demetri martin, bo burnham etc”
23 May 2012 12:14by iFeelYouJohanna (Twitter)
“RT @Bahstine: I just want to be able to spit out Demetri Martin break up lines to someone one day.”
23 May 2012 11:54by nisssa_ (Twitter)